


In the Confines of Doubt

by LittleLadyBigDreamer



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e09 And the Fatal Separation, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post 3x09, Some Fluff, lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 09:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10241051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLadyBigDreamer/pseuds/LittleLadyBigDreamer
Summary: Her trust shattered and Rockwell's words still echoing in her mind, Eve begins to question everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been writing this since the episode aired because I felt for Eve so much after Rockwell spoke to her. It's wordy and angsty but I hope you like it. (Flynn's being able to use any door confuses me because we don't know the specifics but I've weaved it in anyway).

Flynn frowned as he shuffled under the covers, his arm instinctively reaching out for Eve. When he felt nothing but sheets beneath his palm he quickly sat up, trying to make out Eve's figure in the darkness of the night. Flicking the switch of the lamp on his bedside table he took another look around, noting that her phone was still tucked slightly under her pillow. "Eve?" he called out as he threw the sheets off him and climbed out of bed. Silence echoed back at him. He hurried to the bathroom to see if she was there, calling out her name once again. Still, there was no reply. Panic began to set in as he checked the kitchen and living room, both rooms empty. He peered out of a window that overlooked their street and saw that her car was still parked in its spot, but as he stepped back he realised he hadn't tripped over her boots. The first thing she did when she came home was kick off her shoes, and if she knew she'd be wearing them the next day she'd keep them by the door. She'd left them there tonight but now they were gone. She hadn’t been herself tonight though, it had been a difficult day for all of them, Flynn was trying not to think about how much he was still reeling over losing Charlene. Sure she'd said he'd see her again but he knew from her voice that there was little chance of that. His parents were gone, Judson was gone, and now Charlene. He couldn't lose Eve too.  "Where are you?" he said quietly to himself.

Having hurriedly thrown on his coat and pulled on his converse, Flynn used his ability to transport through any door to get himself to the Annex, deciding this would be the first place Eve might go to. He called out for her on his arrival, running up the staircase to the mezzanine on the upper level then searching all the rooms downstairs.

Nothing.

He was just thinking about running like a madman down the aisles of the Library when the globe that was hooked up to the Back Door caught his eye. He was sure they'd been the last to leave, but the Door wasn't set to their apartment, it wasn't set to any of their apartments, it was set to...

"Oh Eve," he murmured. "What are you doing _there_?"

* * *

Though it was mid-morning in Berlin, darknessstill flooded the familiar steam tunnel that Flynn was now cautiously walking through. After wandering around fruitlessly for ten minutes, in which time he was sure he'd acquired more bruises than he could count on one hand, a few slithers of light creaking in through the walls let him spy a hunched up figure sitting on one of the stone platforms. He tried not to startle her but his feet tapping against the cold, hard ground beneath him combined with her quick reflexes and instinct made her glance sharply up at him. 

"I know you wanted to go on vacation but did you have to leave without me in the middle of the night," he joked as he approached her.

"Sorry," she muttered, drooping her head back down and continuing to stare at her lap. _She should've known he'd find her, a part of her thought maybe she'd wanted him to._

"Don't be," he said as he hopped up onto the platform and scooched over to her, loosely slipping an arm around her waist. "What's going on hon?" 

"Nothing," she sniffed, avoiding his gaze. 

"Eve, you're sitting in the place we met in what is the middle of our night and you expect me to believe that nothing is wrong?"

"I'm fine," she insisted in a voice that only reinforced that she wasn't. 

"Eve- god you're freezing!" He'd moved to wrap his arm around her more firmly and as he curled his hand over her bare arm he felt little goose bumps under his fingers, hairs standing on end as her body fought to keep her warm. She'd pulled on some jeans but was still wearing the thin tank top she'd worn to bed. "You’re like ice. I can't believe you came out in here in just this," he muttered as he quickly shook off his coat and threw it around her, encircling her in his arms again to give her his body heat. Eve didn't even flinch. He pulled her close so her head was resting against his chest, and she broke. Her face fell instantly, her lips quivering as tears streamed down her cheeks. She sobbed and sobbed against him, every cry echoing up to the unit's high, thick ceiling and breaking his heart. He immediately tightened his hold on her, bringing one hand up to cradle her head as she trembled in his arms. "Shh it's okay," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He didn't know what was going to be okay but he was going to tell her that anyway. "It's okay, I've got you. I'm here."

 

He didn't know how long she wept in his arms for but he held her the entire time. When her sobs turned to sniffs, and her chokes eased into steady breaths, he peered down at her, finally getting a proper glimpse at her now pink, tear-stained face. "Okay?" he asked, brushing her behind her ear. Eve nodded silently, not moving from his embrace. "You want to talk about it?" 

After a moment's thought, she finally responded, her voice small and unsteady. "Do you ever think about how we met?"

"Sometimes," he admitted. "Sometimes I can't believe my luck, other times I think about how far we've come, how incredibly stupid I was to try and send you away when you came to the Library."

"But that's just it though," she said a little loudly, pulling away from him. "What if it wasn't just luck? What if...what if it was all a set up?" she mumbled, trailing off.

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean what if we only met because we were supposed to?"

"Eve, I told you I don't believe in fate," he answered.

"No," she sighed in frustration. "I don't mean fate, I mean what if it was something less...romantic than that. What if there was an external force that made it so that we met? So that I became your Guardian?"

"Like the Library?" he queried. 

"Well...possibly," she supposed, considering the idea.

"Well the Library did choose you, but I don't think it set us up to meet, why bother? Why not just send you a letter straight away?" he replied. 

"But why me? Isn't it weird that the Library only chose me after we met, _because_ we met? Why not before that? Surely it knew I existed, how else does it call people to interview for the Librarian position. What if the Library itself was influenced to pick me, and that the reason we met is because someone made it happen?" 

"Someone like who?"

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head. "But if that's the case should I even be a Guardian?"

"What?" he frowned at her, a mixture of shock and confusion on his face. "Eve you don't seriously believe that do you? Of course you should be a Guardian."

"What if it was all a ploy to get me into the Library? To get me to meet you. What if none of this was supposed to happen but it did because of other people...and magic?" she continued.

"Magic?" he inquired.

"How do we know that I'm not under a spell, that that's the reason I'm a good Guardian?" Her eyes were wide and panic-stricken now, still puffy and red, but he could see just how utterly confused she seemed to suddenly be. More than that, she was hurt. 

"Eve," he placed a hand over hers, "honey, I don't know if our meeting was chance or something else, but what I do know is that you are an amazing Guardian, simply because you're you."

"But-" she began. 

"But nothing," he said with a gentle firmness. "The Library doesn't just throw those letters out to anyone. You were picked because of your skill, heart and incredible ability to stop us from doing stupid things. All those things you did before we met, you were a Guardian long before the Library picked you."

Silence hovered over them for a moment with Eve lost in thought, seemingly accepting that he had a point. When she lifted her head, Flynn noticed that tears welled in her eyes once more. "What about us?" she whispered.

"What about us?" he questioned as she sat up again. 

"What if we only fell in love because of magic? Because the Library thought we'd work better that way?" Tears trickled down her cheeks again as she spoke. Flynn looked deep into her stunning blue eyes, the ones that always had him entranced, the ones that twinkled when she was happy and were home to a storm when she was mad. He saw something he didn't see often; fear, and all he wanted to do was pull her back into his arms and hold her forever while telling her over and over again how much he loved her. "What if none of what we feel is real?" she continued. "We could've been manipulated from the start. We've been under the influence of magic before. I mean, look what happened with the Apple, and Ray, he kidnapped you Flynn." 

"That was different," he insisted. "He wasn't well and he wasn't himself. The Library would never do anything to intentionally hurt us, any of us. Yes we were influenced by the Apple's magic but it's an artifact, sure we're gonna get hit by them sometimes but that's the point, we have to stop that from happening to the rest of the world."

"Okay fine," she accepted begrudgingly, brows knotted in a frown. "But love potions exist right?! How do you know we were never given one?!" 

"Because I just do!" he exclaimed, a little louder than intended. He wasn't angry at her, he was angry at who or what had put these ideas into her head and had left the strongest woman he'd ever known completely broken. Sighing, he composed himself. "You seriously believe this?" he asked, his voice low again, soft.

Eve shrugged, her head lowered, avoiding his gaze. "I don't know what to believe anymore," she whispered tearfully.

"Look at me," Flynn instructed. When she continued to stare at her lap, he reached out and cupped her cheek. Under his palm, her warm tears were a stark contrast to the sharp chill of her skin. With his gaze fixed on her, he softly repeated, "Look at me, Eve." Finally, she raised her head and looked up at him. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't think we're real, that you don't really love me. Tell me that you honestly believe that this is all a lie, all our adventures, our laughter." Eve's vision became blurry and she tried desperately to blink through the returning tears. "Tell me that every kiss we've shared hasn't felt real, that every time I've touched you and loved you, it's meant nothing. Come on. Tell me. Tell me that all those nights cuddling up on the couch weren't really what we wanted, that the mornings we've woken up in each other's arms, knowing we don't want to be anywhere else, were just the product of a love potion. Tell me, Eve. Tell me that none of this feels real."

She was sobbing again, struggling to catch her breath as tears poured from her. She shook her head in refusal, her words getting caught in her throat. "I can't," she finally wailed, still shaking her head. "I can't." She suddenly fell forward and flung her arms around him, holding him so tight her nails threatened to cut through his shirt.

Flynn gripped her tightly once more. "I know you can't," he murmured before pressing a firm kiss to her temple. "You are realest thing I've ever had in my life Eve Baird. Don't you ever think otherwise." 

"But how can we be sure?" she whispered into his neck, still clinging to him. 

He pulled back slightly and peered down at her. "Seriously?" he gave a soft chuckle. "Why are you here right now? Because you were thinking about all of this, worrying about it?" Eve nodded, staring up at him as she rested her head against his shoulder. "And it hurt right?" She nodded again. "It hurt because it's real, Eve. All of it. You and me, we love each other _so_  much, and the reason it hurts to think that everything we are, everything we've been through might not be real is because it _is_ ." Her tears seemed to subside as she considered his words, though she still looked lost and hurt. "Think of it this way," he continued. "If you saw a stranger get hit by a car and get rushed off to the hospital, how would you feel?"

"I'd feel bad for them, and hope that they were okay," she managed to say, her voice small. 

"Right. But what if it was me who got hurt?"

It was only a thought but even that was too much for her. Imagining Flynn being hurt like that, not knowing if he was going to be okay, it was all too familiar and she got the same knot in her stomach she always did just thinking about it. She frowned up at him and he knew the image alone was making her worry. "I'd be devastated," she confessed quietly. "I- I can't...I couldn't stand to see you hurt, I can't lose you."

"I know. It's okay," he consoled her, rubbing her back while a voice in the back of his mind was shouting at him to tell her about the Eye of Ra. "But it would hurt more if it was me right?" She nodded against him again. "Why?"

"Because I know you," she sniffed. "I care about you."

"You love me?" Once again her cheek brushed against him as she nodded in agreement. "That first time you kissed me. Why did you do it?"

"I dunno," she smiled faintly at the recollection. "Because I liked you and I wanted you to know how important it was that you came back alive...and you were being really dorky and adorable and I couldn't let you leave without..."

"Without what?" he asked when she trailed off.

"Without knowing what your lips felt like...on mine," she revealed in a near whisper, and Flynn could've sworn, despite the dim light, that he saw a blush creep up onto her cheeks. 

He smiled as he brushed back a lock of her hair. "Look, even if we were supposed to meet here all those years ago, _we_  felt something for each other, and not even straight away. _We_  decided to kiss each other, _we_  decided to be in a relationship. No external force made you say yes to going on that first date with me did it?"

A glimmer of a grin tugged at Eve's lips. "Technically I never said yes to that date."

"But you took my hand anyway," Flynn grinned back. 

"I should've waited for you to finish the nine minute speech you had prepared," she let herself chuckle. 

"Well it would've been less a speech, more adorable mumbling," he smiled, seeing that her eyes had cleared a little and that his Eve was coming back. "Eve," his tone grew a little more serious once more, "you said it earlier. We _fell_  in love, but nobody pushed us. I know your thoughts are a little scrambled right now but I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am going to keep telling you that until you believe it again. Then once you believe me I'm going to say it again and again just because I love telling you."

Eve simply stared at him, the twinkle returning to her eyes. She knew then that she'd been worrying over nothing. D.O.S.A may have started the whole thing but Flynn was right, they made their relationship happen. She'd left Berlin thinking about him, the Library couldn't have had any influence over that, and even Rockwell couldn't have forced her to fall for him. She'd been intrigued by him from the moment they met, and once they'd realised they had similarities she'd begun to see him in a different light, and then with the intrigue came friendship. There was smiling too, lots of smiling, she never knew how he did that especially considering he frustrated the hell out of her sometimes.

She remembered the first real butterflies he gave her, when he'd kissed her after the Apple debacle, and in that moment she'd realised how much she didn't want him to go. She knew then it was definitely blossoming into something more, and despite them being colleagues, she was happy to pursue it. Then came the dating, their adventures alone and actual dates with actual food, and the hand holding, and more kisses, lot and lots of kisses and with it all came the feelings that got stronger and stronger. Yes they'd had their ups and downs but every relationship did, and they'd worked through them, together. Something clicked in Eve's brain then. She remembered what she'd said to Moriarty when they were in Cicely. A real happily ever after was made up of the good and bad, the joy and the heartbreak, that's what made it real. That same day Flynn had kissed her and brought her out of a spell, and she'd done it right back knowing it would work. Their love had broken them _out_  of a spell. In fact, the only person who'd put her under a spell, who'd made her fall for Flynn, was Flynn. 

"Can I have your lips back on mine now?" she requested with a small smile.

"Absolutely," he grinned, leaning down and softly capturing her lips between his own, ensuring that all his love for her poured out of that one kiss. Finally pulling his lips away from hers, he brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face. "You ready to go home?" he murmured.

Eve nodded, sniffling and letting out a quiet, "yeah."

"It's gonna be okay you know," he told her, wrapping an arm around her and holding her close. "All of it."

"I hope so," she mumbled against him, eyes fluttering to a close when she felt him press a kiss to her hairline. 

 

He gave her a quick squeeze before pulling his arm from around her and jumping off the platform they were sitting on. "Come on," he held out a hand for her.

Taking it, she copied his actions, clutching on to his jacket to ensure it stayed comfortably wrapped around her. Gently, he pulled her against him, slinging his arm around her waist once more as he guided her to the exit. Eve nestled against him, resting her head on his shoulder, the familiar smell of old books and vanilla comforting her. They strolled through the still darkened building, careful to step over the piles of rubble and debris that were splayed sporadically across the floor, each layer representing another year of the tunnel's abandonment. The faint sound of birds merrily chirping outside, a stunning contrast to the cold, damp interior of the stone structure, reminded both Eve and Flynn that despite the chaos and terror they were facing, the world still seemed to go on and that was exactly what they fought for every day. 

"So," he broke the silence as they neared a door that was outlined a bright cobalt blue, "are you ready to tell me what put all those ideas into your head?"

If she hadn't already not been meeting his gaze, she would've done now, or more accurately, avoided it. A sudden nervousness washed over Eve and she found herself biting her lip as she considered whether to tell him the truth. _No more secrets_. The memory echoed in her mind, seemingly swaying her decision, Flynn's arm resting protectively at her waist encouraging her even more. "D.O.S.A," she finally answered him, noting that although she'd been quiet for a few minutes, he hadn't pushed her for a response. She glanced up at him, their gazes meeting once again, and she knew that she'd made the right decision. This was Flynn, her Flynn and she trusted him the most. Somewhat regretfully, she placed Colonel Baird to one side for a moment, deciding to be just Eve. "I um- when we were at Shangri La, when I was taken," she continued, "it was D.O.S.A that had me."

"What?" Flynn stopped in his tracks, bringing them both to a brief standstill. He stared at her with worry, a frown etched between his brows. "They didn't hurt you did they? What did they want from you? How did they know we were there?"

"No, no, they didn't hurt me I promise, well- aside from the whole shooting a dart at me but I don't know if that was actually them," she rambled in the midst of reassuring him. "I don't know how they knew we were there but they've been tracking us for a while so whatever they're doing they're doing it right." Getting back to her point she added, "Flynn, you remember I told you I had a mentor?"

"Yeah, you mentioned it briefly."

"Right, well her name was General Cynthia Rockwell and it turns out...she's running D.O.S.A."

Flynn simply blinked at her for a moment. "What?" he repeated, shaking his head. "Did you know? But if she was your...isn't she supposed to be good?"

"No I didn't know anything, I think that was the point," she added in a mutter. "She is good, or was...I don't know what to believe anymore."

"It's okay," he rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her arm. "Take your time."

Leaning slightly into his touch, Eve shut her eyes and took her deep breath before looking back up at him. "They've known about the Library for a while, known about the Librarian. That day we met, here...we we're supposed to meet. They planted the intel you got about the Opal. My team was deliberately sent here in the hope that I would meet you," she explained. "Then when I did..." her voice cracked slightly as she broke off, tears threatening to ruin her composure. Flynn touched his hand to her cheek to comfort her. "They sent me in as a sleeper agent," she confessed in a quiet voice, steering her gaze away from his. "Except they didn't tell me."

"Oh Eve," he replied sorrowfully, hurting more for her than anything else. She looked so betrayed, and he understood now why she was so hurt, so lost. The institution she'd given her life to, almost literally at times, had stabbed her right in the back. It made sense why she was questioning everything, why she'd been so broken, he was heartbroken for her. With a slight tug of her hand he pulled her against him, hugging her tight when she fell against him. "I'm so sorry."

"She said it made me a better agent, not knowing," she sniffed against him. "Then she wanted me to just...rat you all out and give them the Library. She thinks we're the bad guys- well she thinks you guys are but I _am_  you guys...but I'm a soldier too. I didn't know what to do Flynn, I still don't. How could she have lied to me this whole time?!"

"I don't know honey," he answered, voice soft, full of regret for her. Cradling her head in one hand, he felt her own arms around him tighten. He loved having her in his arms, to know that despite everything she was there with him; she was safe and they were home. "She must have thought you were her best agent if she sent you in right?" he supposed, attempting to lighten the mood. 

Flynn felt her chest puff out against his as she let out a small chuckle. "She did use the word best," Eve replied, unable to help the grin hovering at the corner of her lips. There he went again, just making her smile in the worst of times. She snuggled against him, pulling her arms from around him and bunching them up between them so she could burrow further into him. "I'm sorry I doubted us."

"Hey," he frowned slightly at her remark. "You don't have to apologise for that. Okay?" Placing a kiss to the top of her head, he felt her nod slightly.

"I didn't tell them anything by the way," she added. 

"Maybe you should," Flynn said after a minute. 

Eve felt the soft cotton of his shirt brush against her cheek as she stared up at him in bewilderment, ready to query his suggestion. Upon looking into his eyes however, she could tell that he was formulating a plan, practically able to hear the togs in his mind as they eagerly set to work. "What are you thinking Librarian?" she eyed him suspiciously.

Flynn peered down at her, a small grin twitching at his lips. "I'm thinking Guardian, that if General Rockwell wants her sleeper agent back...let's return you."

"You want me to go back to them?" she clarified.

"Yes," he nodded. "I'll explain when we get home." Leaving one arm settled around her waist, he attempted to continue to guide them to the exit, only to be brought to a halt when Eve yanked his arm. 

"Hold on," she instructed. "I told you the truth right?"

"You did, thank you for that. I know it couldn't have been easy," he acknowledged.

"It wasn't but it also kind of was." He frowned at her, more perplexed than he was a second ago. "It was easy to tell you because you reassured me about us, reminded me about us, and then I remembered; no more secrets. Remember that promise Librarian?"

"I remember," he nodded slowly, brows still slightly furrowed.

"I told you what I'd been hiding, now you tell me," she urged. "Tell me about your plan to defeat Apep." 

"Uh," he blinked, clearly taken aback. "How, how did you-?"

"Charlene told me," she revealed. 

Realisation washed over him at her declaration. "So that's what she whispered to you! Wait. That is what she said to you before she...left, right?" 

"Maybe," she said ambiguously. "Charlene and I had a bit of time to talk about a few things before she left."

"Like what?" he queried, unsure as to whether he should worry. 

"Like your plan," she steered him back on topic. "The plan that you don't seem to have shared with anyone, not even me. Come on Flynn, no more secrets."

He took a deep breath, sighing as he exhaled. "Okay," he conceded. "But I will tell you at home. You've been out here too long, we need to get you back."

"Fine. But do you promise?"

"Cross my heart."

"Okay," she muttered, edging closer to him. Throwing his arm back around her with unnecessary exaggeration, he pulled her closer still, allowing her to rest her head against him as they finally headed towards the still glowing door to the exit. "Hey Flynn," she said as they strolled along.

"Yeah?" 

"You're in pyjamas."

"I am," he confirmed. 

"Why are you in pyjamas?" she queried.

"Because _someone_ ran off in the middle of the damn night and getting dressed didn't really seem like a priority," he explained, his tone light though he was completely serious. 

"Oh," she uttered, stepping back to allow him to open the door for them. "You really do love me."

"You bet I do," he replied, taking her hand before they both stepped through the door to return home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Anything and everything is appreciated :) x


End file.
